"Swiped” off my Feet?

Dear Cupid,

My girl gang has decided it's time for me to start swiping for a date. Despite my firm "no thank you," it seems they have rallied around making it their job to make it happen. The best part about your friends building online profiles is when they ask you for sexy photos and to describe your ideal partner. Um, thank you for fulfilling your own agendas and for creating more work for me. Yay!

It's not that I don't want a new partner; it's just that I'm not ready, and for multiple reasons:

1. My "ME" to-do list is a mile long, and frankly, I've spent my life ignoring that list and completing everyone else's to-do list.

2. My daughters need me right now, and their stability and strength need to be restored.

3. I am a very independent person, BUT not as much as I desire to be. I want to fully love myself and be independent in every sense before I open the dating door.

Can we table the conversation around sexy photos for the benefit of my children and family? 🤣🤣🤣

This leaves us with the topic of who my ideal partner is. The first time my girl gang asked this question was during the holidays, and I was sitting in front of a ledge full of themed Nutcracker dolls. Being a person who is always looking for a good laugh and typically at the expense of myself as well as an opportunity to express my creativity, I selected two nutcracker dolls to convey my ideal MAN. So, which ones did I pick? Definitely not the Toy Soldier and a hard no on the Tin Man. The dolls I picked were the Lumberjack with an ax and the Lion in a cape, which I have melded together and lovingly now refer to as the Exotic Lumberjack. I'm guessing "Exotic Lumberjack" isn't a common profile on the dating apps. And so, my first criterion has been met; my... Exotic Lumberjack (EL) is a rare special uncommon man, a diamond in the rough.

For fun and games, I'll define my ideal Exotic Lumberjack partner:

"EL" makes me feel small both physically and capability-wise. If I can't get lost in your coat or flannel, then no thank you! If you can't show or teach me many things, Buh Bye!

"EL" is not simply oversized; he's oversized and fit, and ideally, he is a yogi.

"EL" doesn't need to chop wood, but he does need to be a doer who gets dirty often with a purpose.

"EL" is a man of the Land.

"EL" is CONFIDENT, KIND, and THOUGHTFUL.

"EL" has addressed his own "to-do" list and isn't hiding skeletons in his closet.

"EL" has a loud motorcycle or perhaps I'll have the motorcycle. Either way, I must clarify that he's NOT a Republican. 😜

"EL" owns and uses more saws, knives...let's just say more tools than me. Good luck!

"EL" doesn't need to have long hair like a lion, but I wouldn't mind a man mane or bun.

"EL" likely has children from another marriage.

"EL" is creative and is also business-savvy.

So, Cupid, since my girl gang won't take no for an answer, could you please shoot some arrows at all of the Exotic Lumberjacks out there? I'll have my head down working on my to-dos, but I'll look up when I feel his large strong shadow cast over me, and I know in my heart that it's time for my EL. 🦁🪵🪓

Note to self: I can't wait to see how this list changes or doesn't over time. I'm setting a 365-day reminder to revisit. ❤️🗓️⏰

PS: My girl gang eventually asked what I want if it's not swiping for a date, and they are satisfying that tomorrow with a girls' night out on the town. Mwaaa! Girl gang for the win, again.

Always,

Ms. MORE